Thursday, 12 February 2015

Feeling always get in the way

Currently it feels like I just worry.
I worry that I did a huge mistake following my dreams and that I will end up jobless and struggling.
I worry that I wont find another part time job after this one finishes.
I worry if i do find it it wont pay enough and that I'll hate it or suck at it.

I worry that next year I wont have anything to show for this year.
I worry that I wont be able to find a well paying full time job I like again.
I worry that I will need to start all over as no one will want to hire me for a well paid job seeing I've been flitting around low paying part time jobs for a year.

I worry that I will turn 35 this year with nothing to show for it
I worry I will never be where I want to be and that who I want to be have to stay get locked away again so I can deal with all the must haves.
I worry that I have no one to talk to about how my insides wants to burst with worry.
And I worry that I should be quiet

not say
not share
just hold it in

But I know if I don't let it out once in a while it will just grow until its an immovable object slowly chocking me to death. So I need to at least write it down and let it out, to help make sure it passes joining past fear and issues and just hope that this one is just an unreasonable fear that wont ever come to pass.

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