So it's a new year, 2012 has arrived with economical crises, the Olympics, the Queen's jubilee and probably a whole list of other things I don't find interesting.
On a more personal front the year has started with my health slightly deteriorating again and joblessness.
As for the health there isn't much I can do except keep up with the things I think helps and try new things. At the moment I am considering a dairy free diet though I must admit I would find that hard, a lot harder then the gluten free diet I tried in the beginning of 2011.
As for the job I did resign, not get terminated so I can't really complain about that. Even though I do worry about these things I know it was the right thing to do.
I have a friend at work who has loudly proclaimed that she thinks I was doing the wrong thing, whilst I am all for people having there opinion I wish she would be a bit more on my side in this, as whilst I know it was the right thing to do, it was also the hard thing to do.
So why did I resign? Well I guess the reasons are always personal and whilst I don't mind explaining I am not sure most people understand my reasons.
I am a very hardworking person and to conscientious for my own good, I want to work but work was turning into a chore. I spent almost all my time there every day and I worked so very hard but didn't get anything out of it. No appreciation for the hours and with no future prospect with anywhere to go within the company.
On a more basic level it's got to do with me being sick. I got the job before I got sick and I never intended to stay, it was meant to help me save up so I could do what I wanted to do - travel. But then I did get sick and for the last year and a half I have been too sick to look for work anywhere else. And as much as I hate it I will probably always be too sick to just pack my bags and go. I can't just decide I want to move to another country even temporarily, because I need to think about getting my medicine and the fact that in most counties I wouldn't keep getting them, at least not my injections.
So suddenly I do need to think about making a carer for myself and that sucks big time! All I like to do is write, travel, make jewellery and sing. And whilst I would love to be a journalist working as a war correspondent abroad that isn't going to happen now is it!? And my illness means I have not made jewellery for one whole year. As for the singing I am nether good enough or pretty enough to make it.
But I need to start somewhere and at least try, so I am trying. I am trying to find a job I like and I am thinking very hard about something I would like to study (sadly I am coming up with nothing so far), I am trying to write and I am even going to try to make jewellery again.
I quit work because now I can look for another job, and for the first time in what feels like a very long time, I have options again.
Mostly I am painfully aware of the fact that life is too short and too fickle for you to waste your time being unhappy.